Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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