he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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