Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize