Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize