It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize