Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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