just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
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