finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize