they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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