stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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