I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize