Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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