i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize