Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize