we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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