Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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