uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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