I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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