I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize