I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize