You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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