okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize