Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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