I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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