Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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