I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize