So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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