If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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