Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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