I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize