is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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