god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize