I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize