I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize