Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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