Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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