Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize