Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize