Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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