We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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