he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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