You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize