a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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