I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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