Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize