omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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