I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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