hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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