not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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