Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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