SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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